I definitely agree that "making out with" would work better here.
Like everyone else, I'm loving this story. There are the British-isms pointed out, and I agree that Buffy would be unlikely to say "fuck" unless very angry. Also, Americans typically say "different from" rather than "different to," and where you've written "affect" you actually need to use "effect."
That's all the "meanness" I've got. I'm really looking forward to more.
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Date: 2006-06-04 08:24 pm (UTC)Like everyone else, I'm loving this story. There are the British-isms pointed out, and I agree that Buffy would be unlikely to say "fuck" unless very angry. Also, Americans typically say "different from" rather than "different to," and where you've written "affect" you actually need to use "effect."
That's all the "meanness" I've got. I'm really looking forward to more.