constance

One of my less crazy, by previous reckoning, neighbours went mad this evening and smashed all of her double glazed windows and doors with a chair leg then pitched her dining table off the back balcony.

Her boyfriend made her a meal for valentines day, then walked out when she came home drunk. I know this because the meal was on the front balcony and he's just come home to find their home being boarded up. They are discussing the matter quite loudly. The police are waiting at the end of the balcony because, they say, if she comes out of the house they get to arrest her. They seem quite keen on the idea. Extreme littering, it seems, is not an arrestable offence.

On the upside the community spirit comes out when someone goes nuts. Collective efforts were made to ensure her (physical) wellbeing before the beer and popcorn appeared (beer and Polish vodka, to be strictly accurate) and I'm now a little drunk. Kayley and I swept up the glass reminiscing about the good old days when she was the biggest drama queen on the block, we've bonded over neighbours even nuttier than her. Still, it's not comforting to know that your front door is susceptible to a seven stone middle aged woman with a stick and I'd quite like to go to sleep now. Monday, such a good night for an impromptu street party.

Once upon a time there was this fic I started, called Dreidel. I did keep promising to finish it but... well I lied, frankly. I'm a big fat stinking liar and WIP abandoner. My seat in hell will be near the really hot fires. I have eleven thousand unposted words sitting on my harddrive, taunting me. Every couple of months I'll get an email about it, of the 'you are going to finish this, right?' variety. I open the file, make a couple of corrections, maybe manage a sentence or two, stare at it a few hours. And it's weird, because the ending is what I started with, these are the bits I wanted to write, what I went through a few hundred thousand words of plot and stuff for.

So, here's what I have. I shall get it off my harddrive, if not my conscience. There are notes instead of scenes in places, and then it trails off right where the happyish ending should be. But no evil cliffhangers, plot pretty much wrapped up.

From the beginning or skip to new stuff

I doubt there will ever be any more BtVS fic from me. And this is always true: defriend away should you wish. Or throw rocks. As long as they're metaphorical rocks.

I've been digitalising all my kiddie's story tapes to share with various relatives. It took a very long time. Then I uploaded them for a couple RL friends, which took nearly as long again and slowed my internet time to dial up speeds. That's way too much work for four kids, so can somebody else please make use? I would feel much better about all my wasted hours.

She's got a bit of everything, from Brothers Grimm and Disney through to Dr Who and Sherlock Holmes, via Harry Potter, Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, Horrid Henry, Moby Dick, Tolkien, E Nesbit and Kipling. Also Buffy - Immortal read by Charisma Carpenter. I don't think you have to still be a child to enjoy some of these. Obviously, feel free to share the link.

Audio Books

PS See me crossposting? I crossposted! I feel so clever.

( Buffy and Willow, the new rat companion. And some random boating pics. With pirates. )

Once again I get online to complain about not getting online enough. Half term was rather hectic, taking Betty the Boat down the Kennett and Avon from Bath, then up the Thames through Oxford. There's still no hot running water though there is, tantalizingly, now a shower cubicle. And sea shanties to drown out the sound of teenagers.

This month I've mostly been listening to Stan Rogers. I uploaded quite a few tracks for my Dad, they're over here if anyone else would like them.

( Picture, cut for the sake of the rat-phobic )

Got a new rat for Christmas. The child named her Buffy, 'cause I raised her right. She's up there on the right. We got her mostly to be company for Lola, who we buried this week. One of my neighbours came around very late at night, sat in the armchair that most people avoid because it's been pretty much hollowed out by Lola. He must have sat down just as she was escaping out from underneath, her neck was thoroughly squished. Didn't even realise till the next day, when I noticed she hadn't snuck out to steal the bits of Easter egg the child had left her on the floor and poked around looking for her. One of the few of my neighbours I actually like, too. The kind of guy you'd let into your house at midnight even though he'd clearly been on one hell of a bender because he's just that non-threatening. Fortunately he clearly had no recollection of coming around at all when I begged his help for picking up the corpse and throwing out the armchair.


She was a grumpy, antisocial pet and completely neurotic. I shall miss her. The child was scarily interested in the corpse and completely undistressed by the loss. The only time Lola would interact with her at all was to scare her into dropping snacks, so I guess I can't blame her. But still, a tear or two would be nice.
And now, I'm going to have to get another new one to keep the other new one company. She's the polar opposite of Lola, wants company all the time and will put a great deal of effort into getting wherever you are. She's already figured out that Jen gets up to go to the toilet at about two every night and will lurk outside her door so she can sneak in with her. And the metal, and you'd think, unclimable bunkbed frame is no obstacle to her when she wants a snuggle. We're going to my Dad's boat for the easter hols, she's going to have to spend ten days in a cage all on her own, because she's quite stupid enough to get in the engine or the canal if given her freedom. Lola would always disappear into the nearest hole in the floor and refuse to come out until you got out the expensive chocolate.


In other news, there's no good reason for me not posting so long except that I seem to have given up writing. I've been lurking around and never commenting. I forgot to watch Ashes to Ashes, I was pleasantly surprised by the child they've hired to be the next Dr Who, and my sole contribution to fandom for the last year has been recording SGA podfic. That's one of those Sci-fi programs that none of you Buffy fans watch. It's here, if anyone's interested.


Is there a community for Jossverse Podfic? Because I'd totally contribute if there were. There seems to be tons of it for the larger slash fandoms, but aside from quinara's short (I haven't listened yet, I'm hoarding podfic for an electricity-free holiday) and the odd Spander or crossover, I can't find much for Buffy. Do you people want an internet with no Spuffy podfic on it? I'm under the impression you need a paid account to set up communities, so one of you folk should get on that...


Yes, yes, I'm completely shameless. But just think, fanfic while you do washing up/walk the dogs/mountain climb. Totally worth the effort. Someone else's effort. You know, if there's anyone not too busy with the penguins.


Comments not disabled because if one of you sets up a podfic community, or there already is one, I want you to be able tell me about it. But I most likely won't get online again the next week or two, so please don't think me rude if I don't reply.


( And some more rat pictures, because I can )

In the less-than-two-months since I quit smoking I have put on a whole stone. Also, I still want a f****** cigarette.

My kid's birthday on Thursday, and her party on Saturday. My first ever kiddie's party. I've always managed to bribe/distract her with outings before. It's going to be hell. I hate parties. And children.

My Mum got knocked off her bike last weekend by another cyclist, last week she had a broken thumb, now it's not broken, she'd ripped a tendon or something. I don't even know what she's done to it, she's too squeemish to describe it in anything but euphemisms. She wouldn't let me go to the hospital with her but I suspect she stuck her fingers in her ears every time someone used a phrase like torn ligament. She was scheduled for surgery today but she just called and said they've decided to put it in a cast for a couple weeks instead, see if it fixes itself. I'm not sure if that's a changing medical opinion or if she just bottled it. Either way, I'll be doing her washing up for a few more weeks. I hate cyclists.

Got a new computer last Monday, new compared to the last one at least. Blew up last Wednesday. I exaggerate slightly, but there were sparks and fusing of electrics and a burnt smell. Strangely, it worked just fine afterwards, but I'm a little reluctant to use it. I'm hoping it's the house rather than the computer because my reading lamp blew up the other week, cable at the back popped open and kinda melted, scared the crap out of me. Wasn't even switched on.

My half-sisters came down for Halloween, took the kiddie trick-or-treating then gorged themselves until they were too full to move. They were strangely conscientious about not dropping their wrappers on the floor. I moved the armchair yesterday to vacuum and found it stuffed full of not only every single wrapper but also enough sweets and chocolate bars to keep a five year old busy for a week. It must have taken my rat hours to gather them all up and make herself a nest out of food. And explains why she's been getting steadily fatter the less I feed her.

And cards. I failed last year. This year, I'm organised, ready and eager to celebrate all types of winter festival by posting pictures of snow. If you've given me your address before, I probably still have it, though it never hurts to make sure. Comments are screened. Don't be shy.
My address is 37 Starwort Path, Blackbird Leys, Oxford OX4 6RN, and if you're going to send me a card could you address it to Rosy and Jennifer? Partly because I don't want to put my surname where Google can find it, mostly because the child whinges that I get more post than her. Like I wouldn't put the utility bills in her name if I could.

And while I'm collecting addresses, are there any David Hewlett fans on my flist? I have a spare copy of Cypher, in which he has a ten minute turn, and also Redemption, the SG-1 Season Six two-parter in which McKay has a large part. Free to a loving home, if anyone would like them.

I'm in Oxford. My house keys are in Bath. My Mum is in Bridgwater with her spare key. We broke into her house, so I'm not sleeping on the streets tonight but... There might actually be less spiders on the streets. The kiddie is refusing to sleep here and I can't really blame her. Eighty percent of the living room floor is covered in apples, pumpkins and courgettes. They're passed their best. The spare bed is covered in onions. They used to be on the floor, but there's no floor space left. Basically, she's a health hazard. And possibly a danger to herself. She hasn't even retired yet. The place is creepy enough in daytime, but at night the spiders all come out to eat each other. I'd say sod school and be on the train back to Bath but I have a job interview tomorrow. I'll be going in today's jeans. And our rat is sat in her cardboard carry case. She's already chewed a hole in it. We call her a pet but she's basically feral and if we lose her in this house I don't think we'll ever see her again. At least she wouldn't starve.

On the up-side, internet. Theoretically, I've had internet all weekend, but I've been baby-sitting three teenagers and they're all bigger than me now so, they get priority. Heh. At least I'll have fanfic while I'm sitting up all night fending the spiders off.

And you can have photos of my summer holiday. If I can remember how to post them. Boy, it's been a long time.

( Whitsand Bay, Cornwall )

And yes, I did promise at least three people I would have a new chapter of Dreidel up by September. I, uh, lied? Sorry. I'm not yet willing to admit it's abandoned, but it's been a long time since I wrote anything at all, so I really hope no-one is holding their breath. As ever, defriending is noted without rancour.

And one last random fact. It's been eight days since my last cigarette. This is the third time I've managed as much this year. Contrary to what people tell you, the first week is the easiest. For the first week, you can tell yourself 'it'll get easier'. I'll have cracked by Friday.

1/ There's no particular reason for me not posting since September. I'm just dull.

2/ Signed up to Seasonal Spuffy. That's not actually the confession, though it says nothing good about my impulse control. I, um, I don't read Spuffy fic any more. I have stuff from the last two SS's bookmarked, and some of it sounds really good, and I know I like the authors but I just haven't been in the mood for Spuffy. At all. Very occassionally, I might revisit an old favourite. I have no idea why I keep putting my name down and worse, I have no idea what I'm going to write. None. If I rack my brains any harder they're going to fall out my ears. So, if you have a spare plot bunny/vague idea of something you'd like to read/random sentence you're just dying to see used in a fanfic... Prompt me. Please.

3/ Dreidel. Not abandoned, I swear. I've nearly finished the next chapter, there's maybe another four after that. But... My posting rate is not going to get any faster, and I'm not going to be starting anything new (except, hopefully, for SS, which will, obvously, be posted to SS). Any new chapters will be up on BSV and TSR. So, feel free to defriend me. I won't cry. If you were just here for the Spuffy fic, well, check back in three years or so and I'll have finished Dreidel. In the meantime, you can avoid the bi-annual spam.

4/ If I've snuck up and stealth-friended you recently, I'm ashamed to say that's pretty much standard behaviour from me. I lurk. It's probably because I'm reading your SGA fic.

And lastly, some advice. Don't watch the first four seasons of SGA in three weeks. It's not good for a person, and things will atrophy. Apparently, Dr McKay is my strange crush for 2009.

Bought a rat at the end of August, for the child. Really, for the child. Actually, she wanted a flamingo, but the flat's a little small for a lake so we compromised. She's called Lola (as in Charlie and... not L-O-L-A) and is mostly brown. She's also mostly wild, and lives off cables and furniture. We're working on that. When I was in sixth form, I had a brown hooded rat called Angel, who was sociable to the point of annoying and used to accompany me to school whenever I felt I could get away with it. Lola is taking a little more work. This is exactly the only part of my life that is possibly interesting enough to bother sharing with anyone. I need a new fandom.

Here is my Life on Mars ficathon entry. Thanks to kispexi2 for her beta work, not yet thoroughly implemented. And the one written for me by t_eyla.

Two weeks ago, after several heated disagreements with Daniel, my next door neighbour, about what he ought and ought not encourage his child to do, particularly to my child, (and after two years of putting up with the foul-mouthed, aggressive and constantly present little brat) I said she couldn't play in my house any more. Kayley lasted two days without a built in child minder and then she's effing and blinding at me for picking on her kid every time I won't let her in. I pointed out her kid had been trying to hit mine with the rusty end of a discarded broomstick under the proud eye of her father.

Things got worse rather quickly, and by Wednesday hit the point where Jen stops asking why she can't go outside to play with the other children and is too scared to want to. Kayley and Daniel and two of her chav friends, other neighbours, swearing at me when ever I go outside or banging on my door at one in the morning and offering to kick my head in. Or sometimes, for variety, trying to kill each other. Like the staunch and stable person I am, I've run to stay at my Mum's. Haven't stayed here overnight for years, because every tiny crevice that isn't crammed with clutter is full of daddy-long-legs spiders, which happen to be my least favourite kind of spider. Apparently, they're less disturbing than my neighbours. On the up side, there is internet. And considerably less ants than last year.

I'm going on holiday tomorrow, a week in a caravan in Dawlish Warren with my Mum and sister. Having done it two years previously, I wasn't looking forward to it all that much, my Mum is best taken in smallish doses. Feeling very differently today, and wondering whatever I'm going to do when I haven't got my Mum to run to. I'm going to spend all week not allowing her to eat clotted cream, the only vice she has likely to prove fatal. And dealing with the guilt of knowing my child is miserable and not knowing what to do about it.

So hugs to LJ, and its defriending/banning system, and the throngs of polite and rational people who make it so I've never been tempted to use either. And hugs in particular to kispexi2 for the beautifully random Rhinoceros and pfeifferpack for the unexpected feedback, you both cheered me up yesterday. And pfeifferpack , I'm sorry about Dreidel. It'll be finished one day, if I live long enough. I try to make amends with a hastily-written and sucky 500 word ficlet. Naturally I want Buffy to admit to herself and the others that she was not some innocent victim of Spike but an abuser herself....bout time she came clean ... I always wanted that and never got it.


( This was as close as I could get. And it may be slightly tainted by recent RL. )